its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
