I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
