I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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