He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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