i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
