She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
