I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
