Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
