I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
