It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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