Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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