in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
