He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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