Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
