god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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