I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
