I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
