WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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