sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
