People with herpes should wear stickers.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Randomize