discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
