I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
