Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

Fav 29 2635 822
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(307): View more from Wyoming

He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

Fav 7 4049 1251
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(904): View more from Florida

hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.

Fav 6 3162 1039
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(248): View more from Michigan

Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?

Fav 9 2417 2017
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(804): View more from Virginia

Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry

Fav 5 1775 901
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(615): View more from Tennessee

A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

Fav 5 1723 984
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(907): View more from Alaska

Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

Fav 2 1662 734
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner

Fav 1 686 386
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(712): View more from Iowa

You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.

Fav 1 15 30
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