He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
