Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
