That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
