I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
