and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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