i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
