i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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