he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
