I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
