i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Success! We fucked roommates!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize