Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
