I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
When are your genitals available?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
