in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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