I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
