I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
