Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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