no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
