sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How does it feel to date your dad?
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