Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
