Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
