1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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