ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
