Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
