Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
