He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
