Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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