And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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