i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think people are normalizing furries
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
