I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
