This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
