Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
