I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
