i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
