im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
