I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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