Non-Jews are for practice
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize