I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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