That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
