I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
