I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
