Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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