She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
