so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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